“Many of you have a fear innate of what might be lurking in the darkness, what might be moving among the shadows, or perhaps waiting in stillness with them, unseen, black. We understand what is happening in these shadows, for we have seen them. Our eyesight has been trained and eons of immersion in the evolution of galactic humanity have given us a keen insight into what is hidden in some of the lesser-seen vibrations of light.

What is in the shadows, dear ones, is a function of the shadows. It is a function of light which has slowed down so that it can experience love more intimately in a place and mode of temporality in which light of a higher frequency is unable to pierce without changing it. Within the shadows is an intelligence, dear ones, and there is movement — very slow — which underpins some aspect of the matrix in which you operate. There is a truth within the shadow which cannot be separated from the truth which is of the great light of OM.”

-Excerpt from “Secrets in the Shadows” by Anica through Maryann Rada

The Shadow Self

Before understanding in depth how the shadow self develops, how it constitutes a big part of our soul, and why it is so important to integrate it fully we must differentiate between the concept of the shadow self and what people often refer to as the “ego”.

Unfortunately at this time in many sources of information regarding ascension, spirituality and healing, there is a negative connotation for the concept of ego. Many state that it is a part of our personality that must be eliminated, suppressed, killed and that it should be ignored and encaged in some dark corner of our consciousness in order  to avoid its presence from interfering in our lives, as we should become “light beings without an ego”. Far from assisting us in our healing, integration and becoming the embodyment of our Higher Self, this idea leads us to further problems and the inability to embrace fully all of what we are, access all our whole potential and to understand our Higher Self and Creation as a whole. It alienates us further and keeps us in the illusions of separation and pain.

In reality, when people often speak about “ego”, they refer to the concept of the shadow self. Every single being, including animals, as individuated souls stemming from Source exist in a state of egohood as it is the ego what defines our individuality. Ego is the collection of traits of the personality both positive and negative that define us as individuals experiencing a physical reality. Egohood is therefore not defined as a negative aspect of our consciousness or our personality.

For further analysis regarding the concept of Egohood we suggest reading the following post:

Figure 21. Colossus Foe by teabeforewar

The shadow self, on the other hand, is a very complex collection of soul fragments created over lifetimes of experience that carry much knowledge and enormous potential, but in their state of disintegration, tend to interfere in our life and that of others in negative ways. It is when we are unable to let these fragmented aspects express themselves through our vessel in healthy and balanced way that they would seem to act like our enemies. Also, these fragmented aspects interfere in negative ways when we have not yet integrated and healed them through our current aspect of incarnation that has the privilege of using a physical vehicle unlike these non-integrated aspects.

These aspects are different in many ways and are what make up all our limited mental programming when we do not work with them in a more positive internal partnership.

Imagine that in the beginning we are our Higher Self and we decide to create over lifetimes of experiences an aspect for each lifetime that carries a very different purpose, different goals and work each at different vibrations. Many of them, in many ways, might seem opposite to each other, but Higher Self does not discriminate in preferences and they are all parts of our soul.

Think about an aspect in a specific incarnation that has a positive role, but because of following certain convictions, is severely abused and suppressed by other individuals. Fragmentation of that aspect has occurred and will determine certain traits of the following aspect to incarnate. Now, in order to create a balance with the previous one, imagine that the next aspect is an authoritarian one with negative goals that uses violence against other individuals, as the pain of the previous one will shape many of the new traits. This process goes on and on until we reach the finish line, the inflection point in which it is now time to start recollecting all fragmented pieces of the previous incarnated aspects in order to become whole again and gather the knowledge and wisdom gained as the end result of the experiences of all positive and negative aspects of the soul. This is what ascension is about in order to create a new positive paradigm based on the integration of both the light and the dark aspects of the soul.

As we progress in our spiritual path in a cycle, many of the negative aspects are born because previous experiences has created rips in many of the bodies of the system as explained in previous chapters, but also blocks caused both by fragments of our own aspects as well as attached fragments from other individuals. It is then when our capacity to feel love and irradiate love diminishes over time and our actions and decisions are based on impulses of fear, anger, demotivation, revenge and sadness.

Integration of incompatible aspects

“Before you question whether or not there is a point to seeing something redeemable within the souls of a demonic, dark aspect of a human or humanoid form, see if you can access the truths that are without the tethers connecting them to personality and temporal placement within historical context. See if you can access the truth that emanates through everything, which is its essence of being without labels, definitions, past or future, That Which Exists. You have the right to understand. In the essence of truth which is within everything, which has a specific vibratory signature which is recognizable by a life form, you’ll find that everything around you and within you is quite divine. Are you willing to see that? Are you able to see that there is something divine even in the most demonic figure you can conjure up within your imagination? And can you look upon it without fear, recognizing within its twisted form its source in the desire to know, in the act of being which has come from the intelligence of self-reflection without limitation? What do you choose to call this? Is it God? Is it OM? Is it the Universal Consciousness? Is it incapable of mastering its own darkness, I ask you? If it is truly the source of divinity, understanding, intelligence, if it is consciousness — period, without limitation — then it is capable of creating that which is abhorrent to a mind in fear.”

Excerpt from “Fearlessness of the Demonic”, by Anica through Maryann Rada

Figure 22. Aspects of the soul make up the Higher Self in the highest dimensions of consciousness.

As you gather the collection of aspects that have existed within limitless timelines, the sum of them make up our Higher Self once they are integrated and connected to the highest dimensions of consciousness. As we become more aware each day and expand our awareness, we can witness throughout this process how several fragments of life force vibrate at different frequencies. If in our current incarnation, we as another aspect carry a strong determination of being of service dedicated to the well-being of Earth and her inhabitants, many of our previous aspects will be incompatible to such goals as their modus operandi was based on the conviction of being of service to the self. These aspects, as well as the positive ones that were severely hurt throughout timelines, will require much more healing and time to integrate fully.  The image above represents an analogy to such case in which, imagine the red aspect is vibrating at a frequency that allowed it to function as a one of service to the self, while the blue one vibrates at a much higher positive frequency. It is likely the blue one will be easier to integrate, unless this one carries many deep wounds.

Using the meditations, exercises and crystals in this manual, these aspects will be integrated and healed, but the ones that are more incompatible to our current incarnation will require more time.

What happens during the integration of the shadow self, which is the collection of wounded aspects as well as the ones that are dedicated to the service of the self?

If they were integrated faster than what is appropriate each day, we could become extremely sick physically because of accelerated imbalances both in our physical body due to the rapid change in vibration as well as other imbalances in our auric field, such as blockages and auric rips. Many people during the past decades and currently experience much physical discomfort each day as well as temporary ailments because of the strong solar energy influxes which assist in our integration but can also increase many of our problems because of such imbalances as we are unable to allow the energy to anchor and flow smoothly through our system.

Another problem that could be present if integration of the shadow self’s aspects were to be integrated at a very fast rate would be a breakdown of the emotional and mental bodies because of the inability to cope with such strong emotions and information that could be totally incompatible with the mental programs, meaning ideas and belief systems of the incarnated aspect. Thus transformation must happen in such a way, that even for so many people at this time, is completely subconscious leading to an automatic release of old limiting mental programs and a very smooth adaptability to new ideas and beliefs that are more consistent to a less judgmental existence and the ability to understand the higher perspectives of the Higher Self.

Maintaining a healthy balance between the shadow self and higher guidance

Figure 23. Observed by the unknown.

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.”
Carl Jung

We are like a big puzzle in which each piece of experience and gathered wisdom is a valuable piece of our soul and everything that belongs to us must come back to us eventually. As fragmented beings, some of our pieces are put in the wrong places, or they are not fully placed where they should be, thus creating conflict within ourselves. It is only when these pieces are put back where they belong and all chords attached to them are severed, that these pieces can vibrate back to the frequency that resonates with our Higher Self’s loving nature.

We must warn the readers that if a degree of spiritual maturity has not been reached in order to work with the shadow self as an ally, instead of an opponent, it is then when we cannot cope with discomfort, people and situations around us that trigger these wounded aspects and we might end up hurting others badly. You have very likely seen many people who are out of control once they are triggered, and some people even say that they are “victims of demonic possession”. Sometimes the energies from other individuals can affect our consciousness but usually it is our own fragmented aspects the ones that give us the hardest time.

For that reason,  it is important to start facing these aspects in such a way that we can listen to them, to their stories, their feelings through our emotional body and learn to work with them. Besides meditation, we must seek time each day to nurture ourselves and pay close attention when we feel that we need to spend time alone, instead of finding distractions in order to suppress and deny these aspects that require healing. It is very easy in our current social paradigms to avoid solitude as we might feel we cannot cope with our shadows.

If we have not yet learned to have control over our lives and work with our shadow, then we must find the highest guidance from our I AM Presence and Source, so that by the time we are required to handle the most painful aspects of our shadow self we can  have a security basis of  Love. Once we learn to balance our light with our dark we can learn how to provide ourselves with the love that we need while interacting with society in such a way that people around us do not absorb our energy and we learn how to establish healthy boundaries.

One of the greatest gifts of our shadow is that once we learn to communicate in more positive ways with these aspects, then, as they heal and integrate, they can provide more and more with the strengths that we lost over time, as well as knowledge and wisdom. With them we are able to do what we could not in the past, like learning how to truly take care of our needs while we assist our loved ones.


1. Maryann Rada, “Secrets in the Shadows”, Anica’s Notebook, Opalescent Nine: remembering a new reality, retrieved from:

2. Maryann Rada, “Fearlessness of the Demonic”, Anica’s Notebook, Opalescent Nine: remembering a new reality, retrieved from:

3. Image by Jason Jam retrieved from: